Part III Chapter 1: Afternoon Blues

‘What the fuck is wrong with me?’ Noah wondered aloud frustrated.

He’d been staring at the screen for the last forty minutes or so. The blank page stared back, silent and empty, mocking his lack of inspiration. The small rays of sun that had showered over his furniture an hour ago, were now gone, replaced by a grayish light that announced more rain was coming. 

Noah got up and walked to his balcony. Windows open, he let the wind blow through him, wishing it’d take this depression away. Life was happening down in the street. Cars passed by, bicycles strolled up and down the street, and people walked by his building with such direction that Noah wondered where his certainty had gone. Not that he always knew exactly what to do, but at least he’d always known where he wanted to go and what he had to do to get there. He had never felt this stuck before; Lucas & Harris had been sold and the new owners had other opinions about ancient buildings. Noah was being forced to work with metal and concrete and was hating every second of it.

Architecture had been the logical answer for his yearns of creating and building things. Moving to New York to work with ancient buildings had been the next step in his career in remodeling. At 27, he’d met the perfect woman; beautiful, smart and talented. After three years together, he’d started to consider marriage and kids. He caught himself wondering a lot if he wanted to spend the rest of his life, the ups and downs, with a woman like Brie. She still was beautiful and smart, but somehow along the way they had grown apart. They met, had dinner, made love, watched a movie, a play, caught a concert, enjoyed a bottle of wine, but they never discussed things. They never talked. And when he tried, they always ended in awkward silences. That’s when it all stopped making sense to him. His friends were dumbfounded when he’d confessed this. And after she got the job as a reporter for Chanel 8, everybody knew her. Jenna, a militant feminist from the office, was convinced he had lost interest in her because she had become famous. Because now she had some sort of position of power. To him, it hardly mattered where she worked and if Bob from the grocery store knew her. In fact, he’d wanted so badly to make it work, more than just enjoy good company in the Manhattan nightlife, that he had tried hard to find common ground with her.

Two weeks before Christmas, he’d decided to decorate his tree and asked her to go along and help him choose. Thirty minutes after they had arrived at the store, she was still arguing that he must order a decorated tree instead of buying each ornament and piece.

‘Seriously, why go to all this trouble?’ Brie said with her arms crossed bitterly.

‘Because it’s part of the fun. Choosing and then decorating it together.’

‘You and I have different opinions of what fun means. Make it fast, I have stuff to do,’ she said while she typed in her phone. 

Noah, that was crouched rummaging a stack for a second grumpy Santa he’d liked, looked up. Brie was standing with a scowl next to him, avoiding other shoppers as if she could catch some disease from them. All this while holding her phone and furiously typing, oblivious to all the joy he’d wanted to see and feel. Well, he wasn’t feeling joy anymore. Suddenly, feeling tired, he ditched the Santas and stood up. Brie was a top notch red head with all the right curves, smart as a whip, Noah thought, and colder than the winter outside. And with that, he was done. 

‘We definitely do.’

‘Do what? Have stuff to do? You can’t believe where Doug asked me to do yester…’

‘No. Different opinions. Why are you with me, Brie?’

‘What? Why are you asking me that? Here of all places. If you’re done, then let’s go home.’

‘I am done,’ Noah said as a matter of fact. He considered going back home and talking this through, but what was the point really? There was nothing else to talk about. ‘Until you find a place, you can stay at the apartment. I’ll go to Cameron’s,’ he said calmly and watched as his words sunk in her. She went from shocked to hurt to angry in less than 5 seconds.

After that, she walked away furiously and he only heard from her hours later in the 15 voice messages she had sent him, basically saying she was happier not to be dragged down by some hick, had run home, packed everything and had already left, good riddance. 

Noah breathed in the smell of rain and shook off the images of Brie from his brain. Interesting, while he had sat at his desk he’d tried not to think about something else, and that had made him think of Brie. The something else that had sent an e-mail that morning with news that she’d be coming back to Europe. France, the something else had said. Only a couple of hours in the train and they could meet for some coffee some time. 

Chapter X: Blame it on my youth

Noah opened the café door and felt the cold wash over his body. He closed his eyes for a second and then faced London’s prelude of winter.

The agony in his chest wouldn’t lessen and he didn’t know why. After leaving Artemis’s house, he had taken a taxi home. But instead of entering, he had stood in the sidewalk, looked up and watched lives happening in the other many windows of his building. One light turned on in the second floor and a woman came rushing with a toddler wailing in her arms. A living room on the fourth was only lit by the TV and the shadows on the ceiling moved. A dog had its paws on the windowsill on the third floor and it watched the street below. Music came from the apartment on the first floor and a man’s silhouette approached a woman’s in an embrace. All the lights of an apartment of the fifth got turned off. Moments later, two couples came out of the building and had walked down the street in a heated conversation.

Noah’s empty apartment on the third floor, though, had no lights on, and no movement. No life. No one was waiting for him.

He thought about how Kadri and Artemis had looked at each other over dinner. They shared secrets with their eyes. They were more than just in love, more than companions. At that moment, while they talked about their son and the girlfriend he had brought home the week before, Noah saw a complicity he had never witnessed. His parents loved each other, but they did so in their own way. His mother was a Literature teacher in the University and his father a happy carpenter. They shared meals and shared a family for over forty years.

But Noah had never seen such a meeting of minds between two people quite like this. For some reason, it had made him feel empty. From the moment he had realized how much he wanted that for himself, how much he envied them, how he had never even been close to that, he had felt terribly empty.

So, he had walked to the café a few blocks away. But after staring at the menu for five full minutes with no desire to eat or drink anything, he had just given up and left.

Later, in his apartment, he sat at the piano with a bottle of vodka. His coat lay tossed over the sofa and his shirt was unbuttoned. He stretched his long fingers, downed a shot and started playing the first song that came to mind. Chet Baker’s Blame It On My Youth sounded in his empty apartment, reverberating in the walls.

***

Anne pushed the elevator button and waited for it to arrive. Impatient, she walked to the window nearby, looked out and came back, her boot heels sounding on the granite floor. Twice. She still thought it was a bad idea to come to Eileen’s house. Every minute, she couldn’t help it, she tried to think of something to let her escape from it. Her cell started to vibrate the moment the elevator doors opened. Searching for it in her purse, she stepped in and pushed the fifth floor button for her.

The elevator bell rang and signaled third floor. Anne continued to read the text Lumi had sent her, letting her know that they’d be having pizza that night. A man was waiting for the elevator when the doors opened. He raised his head and stared at Anne in silence, without stepping in.  

 When he didn’t move, she looked up confused and gazed back at familiar green eyes. Startled, she blinked twice in sheer surprise.

“Noah. I don’t believe this…” she said in awe after a few seconds of silence. Her cell forgotten in her hand, she stepped back and leaned against the elevator’s wall laughing. “I really don’t believe this.”

“Now I’m convinced you’re a stalker.” Noah commented laughing too. “You live in this building?” Noah asked shoving his hands inside his coat pockets. She looked even more beautiful than he remembered. Her shiny brown hair was loose and waived down her shoulders. Her cheeks were pink from the cold but her eyes looked like those of a witch, dark and clear. The black coat was tied at her waist and the gray scarf around her neck had something glossy in it. Her hands were gloved with black leather and the boots ended just below her knees. She looked like she belonged in London.

“No. Couldn’t afford it even if I… No.” She laughed a little shaken after the gaze he had given her body. Noah, she thought. Would it sound too crazy if she said his name? Would it make her something like the crazy woman that still remembered his name, even though she didn’t really know him? Probably. She bet he had no idea what her name was anymore. So she avoided that situation. “I’m visiting a friend of a friend. Do you live here?”

“Yes. And I almost had to do what you were going to say to afford it. But I managed somehow.”

The elevator rang third floor. Anne was still laughing from his joke. Yes, he knew her name. Even f she didn’t remember his, he remembered hers. He had thought about her on his last day in New York and how he had never looked her up. About how he’d never see her again. He stepped out and on a whim put his right hand over the door to keep it open.

“Are you in a hurry?”

“A little, yes. Why?”

“Is this friend of a friend, a boyfriend? Is it the short guy?”

“No.” Anne tensed up on the mention of Eli. “It’s a female friend.”

“A girlfriend?!” Noah noticed that something was off, but kept the mood light. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for gays and lesbians love.”

“Almost.” Anne said laughing from Noah’s little joke. Again, she thought about Eli. “Actually, she’s my ex-boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend.”

“That sounds… dangerous. Why don’t you…” But the bell rang again and the doors closed before either could hold them. Anne rode the elevator to the fifth floor not knowing what to do. When the doors opened, Anne stayed inside the elevator and pushed the third floor button. Again, the doors opened on the third floor. But Noah was nowhere. Had she imagined him? Laughing at the absurdity of the situation she stepped out and, when she didn’t find him, she returned. While she thought about where should she go, the elevator was summoned to the fifth floor.

This time, when the doors opened, Noah was there.; chatting amiably, to Anne’s shock, with Dr. McCarthy.

“Hi…” Anne said in a low voice looking from one to the other.

 Noticing Anne’s face, Noah realized he was talking to the ex’s ex. He watched the two women exchange looks of pure dislike and decided to retreat. He greeted Anne, stepped in the elevator and stared at the ceiling. Eileen looked to Noah and back to Anne and pursed her lips in a furious frown.

“I was wondering if you were ever going to show up.” Eileen said with a cold voice. “This way.”

Anne gave her a cold smile and turned to face Noah when Eileen walked down the hall. She could read Noah’s mouthing really dangerous.

“That’s the ex?”

“Yeah.”

“Hmm. I was going to ask you to come over for a coffee or tea.  Do you have time after seeing your ex’s ex?”

“I… do. Okay.”

“My apartment’s 3B. I’ll be waiting.” Noah said.

Anne stepped out, turned to wave at Noah and caught him watching her eyes as the doors closed, locking their gazes. She was grateful to have something to look forward to. This little meeting had been a terrible idea. Anne sighed and followed the East Witch’s sweet perfume.

***

Thinking she might not take too long, he rushed to his apartment to try to tidy some of the mess. When he opened the door he remembered the reason he was going out; there was nothing to eat or drink besides water and old bread. He couldn’t leave now that Anne might arrive any minute, so he picked up the clothes that were over his bed and shoved them in the wardrobe. Since his bedroom was visible from the living room, he didn’t have any place to hide his mess. He kicked the boxes to a corner and started to wash the dishes on the sink.

Anne, he thought, they kept running into each other. Literally, he remembered with a chuckle. On the night he and Brie had broken up, he really wanted to have kept on talking to her. When the short guy came and took her away, he felt a little agony in his gut, that he remembered, had surprised him. She had appeared on the night he had freed himself from Brie, and he feared it was going to be the only and last chance he might have to see her. He had thought about her for a few days after that, but then, he let her go. And now, she was in his building. In another city, another country. He didn’t really believe in fate, but he damn right wasn’t going to let her go without knowing this time.

***

Anne closed the door behind her back and closed her eyes. She took a deep breath, then another. Why had Eli tied her to this woman that obviously hated her gut? Who tied your girlfriend to an ex-girlfriend?

Anne walked to the elevator and pushed the summoning button. The woman had had the nerve to be annoyed at Anne about Noah. You’ve gotten over Eli pretty fast, haven’t you, she had asked. Anne had been so shocked that her blood had drained from her face, leaving her with no reaction. If that hadn’t been enough, she had determined that Anne should report to her about her doctorate once a month, throughout the year. Why? Her thesis did not depend on her approval. Wasn’t it better for both of them if they never saw each other again?

Inside the elevator, Anne leaned on the wall and closed her eyes. She now felt bad for being anxious to see Noah. She almost hit the ground floor button, but stopped in midair. In one week, it’d be three months since Eli’s death. It wasn’t that she had gotten over him, it wasn’t that she had already eyes on another man. But Eli wasn’t coming back. She had foolishly lived waiting for him for endless weeks, jeopardizing her career and her life in the States. Her time here was very short and she couldn’t spend it moping around anymore. She had finally accepted and tried to move on.

It was none of Dr. McCarthy’s business whom she met and if she dated.

The moment she thought about dating, her heart ached in guilt. He had taken the measures for her to move on; she was honoring his gift by doing just that. She desperately needed to walk this misery away. 

“Eli and Eileen. Sounds like a bad soap opera couple’s names.” Anne muttered. But then, if she left, she might never see Noah again. Truth was they didn’t know each other at all. They had run into each other twice over the year and had shared small conversation.

She might never see him again, she thought again.

The number three glowed on the LCD display, and the elevator’s doors closed.

***

When the knock on the door came, Noah was drying off the last of the plates. He had rolled up his sweater sleeves and now dried his hands on the way to the door. When he opened the door he noticed that her mood had changed completely; her eyes were glassy, her shoulders were tense and her arms were crossed. He wanted to ask what had happened but he knew he had no right. He stepped back to let her in and saw the refusal on her face. The fear in his gut worried him even more than anything else.

“Come in.”

“Ah, sorry. I just came to ask if we could postpone it. I’m not feeling very well.”

“I know it’s none of my business, but I must say I’m really curious about what would make you visit your ex’s ex.”

“Really long story. Anyway, this…” Anne said reaching for her pencil case in her purse; she picked the post-its she had and scribbled on one. “Is my cell number. Give me a call and we’ll get that coffee sometime.”

“Sure. Are you okay?”

“Yeah. So… I’ll see you around. Thanks again. Bye.” Anne said and turned to leave.

Noah was watching her go for the second time wishing she’d stay. He fetched his coat, wallet and keys, and after locking the door, called for Anne. The elevator doors had just closed. For the second time that day, he took the stairs and arrived on the ground floor just as she left the front entrance. He had no idea of what he was going to say to her, but he felt that if he let her leave again, he wasn’t going to get another chance. He quickened his pace and fell in step with her.

“You know…” he said as if in a middle of a conversation and startled her. “Sorry.” He said when she put her left hand over her heart.

“And you call me a stalker.”

“Sorry. You know, when I ran into you earlier I was going out to buy some groceries. I’ve nothing at home besides water and bread. Why don’t you come shopping with me?”

“You really want to go to the supermarket with me?” Anne asked genuinely surprised.

“Well, I guess that since I’ll be the one guiding the cart, there’s no problem. It’ll cheer you up a bit, and we can buy apples and tampons if you like.”

“Why? Is your period coming?”

“Funny. You know what else? I like your sense of humor.”

“Hmm. I don’t know it’s getting a little late.”

“It’s not. London’s just dark at the end of the day. It’s actually nearly 6p.m.”

“Ah.”

“Come on, you know you want to go. And grocery shopping’s kind of our thing.”

“We have a thing?”

“I’ve known you for a year now. Sure we do.”

“I guess... Where’s the store?”

“A few blocks ahead. We can take a bus if you like? Those heels don’t look too comfortable to walk on…” Noah commented checking her boots.

“Very nice of you, but I’d like to walk.”

“Great, me too.”

They walked in silence for a while; her heels sounding on the concrete, Anne glanced at the stores they walked by, as Noah watched her. She seemed fascinated at them. It amused him. She wasn’t looking only at whatever they were selling; she looked like she was enjoying their being there.

“So, what brings you to London? Besides me, that is.” Noah asked with a little smile. Anne looked up at him and smiled back.

“It has to do with that long story I mentioned before.” Anne answered lightly.

Noah suddenly realized she’d never said if the ex’s ex she visited today was the latest ex. He’d be really annoyed if the short guy appeared around the corner and took her away again.

“To summarize,” Anne continued undisturbed by Noah’s thoughts, “I’m here to finish my Masters in Legal Philosophy.”

“Legal Philosophy? You’re a Law graduate?”

“Yep. Why? I don’t look like one?”

“You don’t look like a lawyer.”

“That’s because I’m not one. I’m one of those… sad people that studied something and after graduating, had no perspective.” Anne answered with a chuckle. “I don’t hate or regret it. Just… never found my place.”

“And you decided to study Legal Philosophy? That sounds…”

“Boring. I know. It’s really not. I mean, Legal Philosophy is more than reading classics and discussing them. It’s about understanding the development of Legal Institutions, of society in general. People think that Law is all about fighting in court and reading gigantic books, but Law is everything. Everything you buy, everything you do. I don’t know what you do, but I’m certain that you’ve had to use Law in order to do it.”

“No one’s ever put quite like that before. I’m an architect by the way.” Noah said as matter of factly. Anne stopped dead on her tracks and looked at him surprised just as she had earlier.

“You’re an architect?” She asked as he walked back a few steps.

“Yeah, why?”

“I’d never have guessed. Nothing. It was… my dream to study architecture.”

“Really? Then you’re a little sadder than you think.”

“Gee, thanks.” Anne gave him a cold stare and kept walking. Noah laughed and caught up to her again.

“No, I didn’t mean it like that, sorry.” Noah took her arm to guide her around the corner instead of letting her cross another street and continued. “It’s just that Law has absolutely nothing in common with Architecture.”

“Don’t I know it. I studied International Relations and Anthropology before Law. But then, it’s also a long story. What have you worked on?”

“I’m getting really curious about all your long stories. Back in the US, I’d already gotten pretty far on the office I worked. In the beginning you do a lot of interior renovations, interior designs. I love ancient buildings… and New York has a lot of them needing restorations. I had just worked on a building in SoHo before quitting.”

“Why did you quit?”

“Long story.” Noah answered and smiled at Anne’s chuckle. “But, long story short, I needed a change. I didn’t like where my life was going. The office was too demanding, ex-girlfriend coming over every night to try to argue every little thing that went wrong to the skeleton of it. I needed a new life.”

Anne slowed down her pace and looked up at him. He hadn’t shaved in a while. His stubble was grown enough to make a shadow on his face. His high cheekbones, long nose and square chin, made him look very male. He had changed since the supermarket day, the year before. Okay, Anne thought, he looked the sexiest she had ever seen him. The gray sweater accented the green of his eyes, and the black leather coat made him look like a badass. She had a thing for badasses, Anne continued lost in thoughts.

“What?” Noah asked noticing her watching him.

“I… just really understand what you mean. All of it. Kind of shortens my long story too.”

They entered the market and Noah deliberately picked a cart and passed in front of her with it. She rolled her eyes at him and picked a basket, thinking that she should take some groceries home as well.

Not to her surprise, Noah went straight to the fruits section and stopped in front of the apples.

“Apples.” Anne said.

“Yeah, I…”

“Have a thing for them." Anne finished. "I know.”

“It’s funny, isn’t it?”

“What?”

 “That we know each other, but we really don’t?”

“Yeah. But you know what else?”

“What?”

“I have a thing for them too. But I don’t like those.”

“Fuji apples? Why?”

“Besides having my last name, I don’t think they’re juicy enough. I like the Gala and in USA I found this one called Ambrosia. It’s one of the best.”

“I like Ambrosia. But my favorites of all time are the Akane and the Golden. Your last name’s Fuji?”

“Yeah.”

“Cool. You have the name of an apple.”

Anne looked at him and laughed. People usually asked if it derived from Mt. Fuji. But this was the first time someone related her to the Fuji apple.

“I have a book about apples at home. I’ll show you when you come over, sometime.”

“You have a book on apples?”

“Sure, why not?”

“Yeah…” Anne replies genuinely amused. “Why not?”

When Anne’s three apples were on her basket and Noah’s three different types of apples were in his cart, they walked to the dairy and then to pasta.

By the time they had walked the entire market, Noah’s cart was full and Anne’s basket was pretty heavy. She thought about getting a cart a few times, but he’d just make fun of her. Carrying her basket with both hands, they went to stand on the line.

“Nothing?”

“Nothing what?”

“You didn’t forget anything this time?”

“You talk as if we went shopping every week.”

“No, you’re just that scatterbrained. It’s okay, I won’t mock you. I’ll even hold your basket for you.”

“No, I… damn it.” Anne turned and remembered she had no shampoo at home and her hair needed washing ASAP. She turned back to him and holding her basket with one hand, she pointed her finger at him. “You said no mocking. Here” She handed him the basket and ran toward the right aisle.

Noah hadn’t realized her basket had gotten this heavy. He had enjoyed shopping with her so much that he had just kept on walking around. She must have been dreading every second of it, carrying the basket on those heels. All of that just not to take a cart. When she came back running with shampoo bottles he scowled at her.

“You needn’t have carried all this weight by yourself. I was joking about the cart.”

“I don’t mind. Here.” She reached out her hand to take the basket back but he ignored her.

“I’ll carry it for you. You push the cart. But please, please, don’t kill me.”

“Ha-ha.” Anne answered and pushed the cart close to hitting his foot. Noah turned annoyed and she gave him a sweet smile.

In the end, Noah had three big bags to carry and Anne had one big and one small. The apartment was a few blocks away but he could see that the heels were finally getting to her. He took her big bag and carried two in each hand, leaving her with the small one.

“It’s okay, I can carry it. You have too much to carry already.”

“Stop being such a feminist.”

“Do you enjoy tormenting me?”

“Immensely.” Noah answered with a smile.

***

When they reached his building entrance, Anne tried to take her bag from him, but he didn’t let her. He just went inside and left her with no choice but to follow. On the ride up, she remained in silence, trying to think of an easy way out. She’d just accompany him to the door, get her bag and leave. When the doors opened, she followed him through the hall and held two bags while he unlocked the door. But instead of facing her, he entered without looking back.

Trapped, Anne entered and deliberately left the door open behind her. But as soon as she looked around, she forgot everything else. She had no words. It was a beautiful apartment. The space was perfect. The big windows to the right… she couldn’t think of anything else but perfect to say. There was a grand black piano close to them to her utter surprise. To the left, Noah had left the bags over the kitchen table and was taking off his coat. She walked slowly to the kitchen, trying to absorb the ambient, but still couldn’t find words to describe it. Noah stood by the fireplace he was lighting up and observed her. He could see her love for architecture right there and then.

She didn’t only look at the furniture; she looked to one side to the other as if trying to absorb it all. She left the bags next to the ones he had carried in and walked around the reception room, examining paintings and books.

He leaned against the table and just watched her. She opened her coat and slid them off her shoulders and arms. Amused at the woman that had just been trying to leave as fast as she could, and now was getting comfortable, Noah unpacked the wine he had just picked at the market. She wore a white long sleeved cotton blouse with a black tweed skirt and black wool stockings. The colorful scarf around her neck broke the monochromatic in a way he thought was all her.

Anne touched the piano keys with a reverence that enchanted him. No sound came from it. Changing her focus of attention, she turned to the painting close to the piano and studied it. He paused to see her reaction and saw that she didn’t think much of it. Amused, he left the wine breathing and went to stand by her side while she checked his book shelf.

“Feel free to pick any.”

“Ah, sorry.” Anne said as if coming out of a trance. Her cheeks blushed at the realization that she had just been pouring over his things on her own. “Your home’s really… I can’t think of anything else but perfect. I didn’t really like the furniture in the beginning but it all goes together. It’s perfect.”

“Really appreciate it. Why didn’t you like the painting?”

“Ah…” Anne glanced at him surprised and blushed a little more. Noah felt the urge to kiss her that moment, but held on. She didn’t look like she was ready for it. And he didn’t know if he was either. “From all of what you used, it’s the one thing I’d really change. And the couch. I don’t know… the rest of room makes me think of great classic, romantic taste. It’s neither American nor English. It’s… European with no doubt, but I can see you in it. And then, there’s this.” Anne said turning to the big square painting of a man, she thought, holding some instrument of planting, staring at the onlooker. It was just… wrong. “I don’t know, but I sort of… would have put something else here.”

“Like what?”

“A black and white for sure. A photograph. I don’t know, a street I liked, maybe an artistic photograph of the couple of the house. I don’t know.”

Noah looked up at the gift Seth had given him. He hadn’t liked it much either, but hadn’t hated it. In fact, he hadn’t found anything that really went there and had decided to hang his brother’s gift and take pictures to send him. It amused him a lot that she hadn’t liked it there.

“What about the couch?”

“The ancient wood made one. It’s beautiful but… it doesn’t look comfortable at all. In a living room like this… you’d stretch on a rainy afternoon and watch an old movie, or listen to some jazz or blues… but that couch doesn’t invite you to stretch. It’s more like… sit neatly while I go get some earl grey tea.”

“You don’t like earl grey tea?”

“Nope. Hate it, actually.” Anne chuckled. “That no English people hears me saying that.”

“True.”

“Actually, I’m curious about the lilies. It’s not really common for men to have fresh flowers at home.” Anne wandered to the dinner table that had a glass vase with long stemmed pink lilies inside.

“It’s not for common for me either. My parents and my sister sent them this morning.” Noah commented. “It’s an inside joke… My mother and sister love lilies. I don’t. When I was fifteen, I broke my leg and had to stay home for two weeks. For some reason, everybody thought that Satyana, my sister, had been the one that had broken her leg. Flowers were delivered with get well cards. The house smelled like lilies for weeks. And of course, my brothers mocked me endlessly for receiving flowers.”

“Of course.” Anne replied with a smile.

“So, whenever something happens, they send me lilies. I don’t really mind so much anymore. Makes me think of home, and that’s always comforting.”

“That’s really sweet. I like lilies. But I prefer the red ones. Any red flower for that matter. Doesn’t really matter which, red flowers are beautiful.” 

“I like your ideas, thanks.” Noah said after a while experimenting the couch Anne had talked about.

“It’s nothing, I… should get going.” Anne said after glancing at her watch. She walked back to the kitchen to get her bags and spotted the red wine bottle open.

“Have a glass of wine with me. You can tell me what else you like and dislike in my interior design.”

“You’re the expert here. Thanks, but I really should get going. I’m a little far from home and someone’s waiting for me.”

At that, Noah got annoyed again. So she was having dinner with the short guy. If she had moved to London with him, things were probably very serious. Archer, he thought, maybe it’s time to retreat.

“Just one glass.” He said walking to the cupboard and getting a wineglass. He served two fingers and passed it to her.

She accepted it with a little reluctance but sipped it anyway. The taste was better than she had expected. She didn’t really care for dry wine, but this one had the right accent. Sipping again, she watched him over the rim. He poured a glass to himself and sipped as well. He stood next to her and let his eyes drift over her face. Her Asian eyes were different from other Japanese he knew. Considering the waves of her hair and the tan of her skin, she was probably half-blood. It only made her more exotic to him.

“It’s really good…”

“Anne.”

“Hmm?”

“Are you here in London with the short guy?”

Anne’s face drained and she choked on the wine she had been swallowing. She coughed a little and avoided his gaze. She rested the wineglass over the kitchen table and turned to get her coat.

“You don’t have to be annoyed at me. It’s a simple question.”

“I really should go. I had fun today, thank you.”

“Anne. Just answer.” Noah asked holding her arm. Anne froze and stayed silent. “Anne?”

“I don’t want to.”

“Why not?”

“Because…”

“Fine, don’t answer. Just tell me... Are you currently involved with anyone?”

“No. And I don’t want to be. Sorry. I really have to go.”

“Is my neighbor, the short guy’s ex?”

“Yes.” Anne answered without looking up while she picked her bags. She walked to the door and waited for him to unlock the door for her.

“I can take you home, you don’t have to carry all this…”

“No. Really. It’s okay. I’m getting a cab. My sister’s waiting for me for dinner.”

“Ah... Anne?” Noah stepped closer to her and carefully lifted her chin with his right hand. She had a sad expression and he didn’t know why. Maybe she was still hung up on the ex and didn’t want to talk about it. Fine. He was a patient man. She had tickled his curiosity and now he wanted to see what was what. She looked back at him with those sad brown eyes and after a while, he couldn’t resist anymore. He slowly closed the distance and touched his lips to hers. 

Her lashes fluttered down at the same time as the guilt washed over her.  His lips were soft, warm and had taste of the wine they had just shared. Part of her wanted him to never stop, but it was far more complicated than that and it was getting more and more by the second. She raised her right arm that was carrying the smallest bag, and pushed him away slowly.

Noah sighed and unlocked the door. Anne glanced at him one more time and left the apartment, almost rushing to the elevator.

Noah closed the door after the elevator bell rang signaling it was going down. He filled his wineglass and went to sit at the piano. He drank half of his cup and resting it at the table behind him, he stared at the painting. This time, Bach’s Prelude in C soared as he thought about her leaving one more time because of another man.

*

Chapter 18: New life

“Mr. Archer?” Laurel called.

“Yeah?” Noah answered without looking.

Noah raised his head from his draft desk and rotated his chair to face the entrance of his cubicle. His glasses were on the tip of his nose and his hair was messed from running his fingers through it. He’d rolled up the sleeves of his shirt and his fingers were spotted with black ink.

He was in his natural habitat.

“Mr. Harris would like to see you in his office.”

Noah watched Ms. Bellows leave and felt the eyes of his colleagues on his back. He turned and the man from the cubicle next to his was leaning over the separating wall. He had curly auburn hair and wore thick black framed glasses. Noah knew his name was Jared and they had talked a little over coffee the week before, but all Noah knew was that he had been in the company for three years and that he was from Wales. 

“You got hailed into the boss’s office?” he asked with a thick accent.

“Looks like it.” Noah rose from his chair and unrolled his sleeves. “Should I be worried?”

“No idea, mate. If it were Lucas, I’d be worried. Anyway, you should clean your hands first.” 

“Right. Thanks.” Noah grabbed a rag with solvent and rubbed it on his fingers. He still hadn’t met Lucas but from what he had overheard in the office, he was very demanding. As he walked to the stairs across the room he caught Jared’s smile. Noah smiled back and climbed the stairs.

He knocked on the door and entered. Harris was sitting by his desk calmly browsing a file that looked like Noah’s portfolio. But what caught his attention was the woman standing by the window. Her skin was the color of fresh coffee and her eyes were light as smoke. Her deep green suit was highlighted by the many golden bracelets and rings she was wearing. Her black hair was braided, ending by her waist. She had a face that seemed serene but as soon as Noah had caught her eyes examining him, he’d seen this was a woman that demanded respect. For some reason, Noah felt the need to tidy his hair one more time. When Harris glanced up, he opened a big smile.

“Hello, Noah. I’m sorry to take you away from work but I needed to discuss an urgent matter with you. Please take a sit.” Artemis gestured the chair in front of him. The woman by the window simply watched as Noah sat down.

“Of course. What can I do for you, sir? Ma’am.” Noah nodded to the woman and sat.

Kadri’s lips twitched. Her husband hated being addressed as an older man. She trusted his judgment perfectly, but she had heard so much about the boy in the last days, she had felt the urge to see with her own eyes. If Artemis was right, the boy would bring a lot more than fame to the office.

“Our firm has been selected by the Krotz Group for the building of their headquarters here in London. Well, not really building. They’ve recently acquired a building in Mayfair and wish to have it renovated and remodeled.”

“I’ve heard that you’ve specialized in ancient building renovations. Is that correct?” Kadri asked sitting next to him.

“Yes. My father and I worked together on a few restorations. He’s a master with woodcraft.” Noah spoke with reverence. Kadri slanted a look at Artemis and a silent message passed between them. “There are pictures of the buildings I worked on and the ones we did together.”

“May I ask why you decided to move to London?”

“I spent three semesters here in London during college and I took all the courses SPAB, the Society for the Protection of Ancient Buildings, offered.” Noah answered. He thought he’d be tense, but he was surprisingly relaxed. Something about the woman Harris hadn’t bothered to introduce, relaxed him. He leaned back on the chair and linked his fingers. “And through the same society, I won the Philip Webb Award in 2003. When New York stopped being a place where I’d like to live and work, London was the clearest next choice.”

“We're both winners of the PWA ourselves. So you’re not from New York?”

“No, ma’am. I’m from Portland in the state of Maine.” Noah directed all his attention to her. “May I ask why?”

“You may.” Kadri replied amused. “I’m not a big fan of New Yorkers. They’re workaholics, coffee dependants, which makes them irritable and annoyed at almost anything, and they believe that if they have a colorful pretty drink on one hand a cigarette on another, they’re living right.”

Noah thought a little about it and nodded. She had been fairly exact. 

“But why did New York stop being a place where you’d like to live and work?” Kadri knew she was going a little farther than necessary, but his answers were really interesting. Artemis raised his brows at her latest question and she softly shook her head.

“Honestly?” Noah asked. Kadri nodded. “I wanted a new life. And I was becoming one of them. I didn’t like that. Especially since I don’t like the colorful pretty drinks or smoking.” Noah completed with a smile.

Kadri smiled back with approval.

“Where I come from, we work because we love it. I was raised drinking tea and I believe that living right has everything to do about the people you do it with.”

“I see.” Artemis had been right; the boy was a charmer. Easy smile, honest eyes and clear answers. He did seem like the man for it. “Well, I must say I was impressed by your portfolio.”

“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be rude, but I don’t know who you are.”

“You don’t know who I…” Kadri sounded genuinely surprised. She looked at her husband and saw him biting his lips as he continued to flip through the portfolio. “I’m Kadri Lucas Harris. People around here calls me Lucas. But I prefer Kadri. People,” Kadri went on as she walked around the desk to put her arm around her husband shoulders. “Tend to think that I’m a man when I’m mentioned at by that.” And smiled at Noah. The boy blushed a little, she noticed, delighted. Wasn’t he adorable? Her husband let go the laugh he had been holding and she realized it had been intentional. “You must forgive the fool I’m married to. He still thinks it’s funny when people mistake his wife for a man.”

“I… don’t know what to say.” Noah said looking from one to another.

“No need. You’re not married, are you? Do you have a girlfriend?”

“Not at the moment, no.”

“Our Meredith…”

“Kadri.” Artemis squeezed his wife’s hand in a warning and rolled his eyes. “Your daughter’s getting married. Get over it.”

“It doesn’t bother me that she’s getting married. It bothers me that she’s doing with that excuse for a man. And a lawyer on top of everything else. The man is hateful and he lies for a job.”

Noah watched them fascinated. They seemed so absorbed in their own discussion almost as if he, Noah, had stopped existing to them. Kadri was speaking in French now. If the daughter had her mother’s looks and he father’s easy nature, he’d have been really interested in meeting her. 

“The point is,” Artemis interrupted his wife. When the French kicked in, it could take hours. And she drove him a little crazy when she did that. They should send the boy back to work first. “We’re putting together a team to work on the Krotz Project. They want a preview by the end of the month. Do you think you can do it?”

“Yes.” Noah didn’t even dare hesitate. He wanted it. Whenever he had come across a restoration project in New York, he had been pulled away at the end because the client had decided to go with a modern design.

Artemis opened the portfolio on the table and Noah saw that it wasn’t his that he had been poring over. But pictures of the building the Krotz Group had acquired. From half a foot away, Noah could see it was a beauty. And a lot of work.

“So far, we’re thinking about a four-people job. You’d be working with Lena, specialized in woodcraft, Anthony, the engineer, and Jared, an expert in renovations.”

“When do we start?”

Artemis laughed.

***

“She’s in her bedroom?” Victor asked after staring at his tea for a while.

He had looked up briefly, meeting Anne’s eyes when they sat down. She had dark shadows under her eyes and blinked slowly, as if concentrating on saving her energy. She had gone through a lot in a very brief time, and now with Lumi’s depression, he imagined how things must’ve been hard. Her long black hair was tied in a tight ponytail and her face was clean. She usually had makeup on, but today, like the few days before, he hadn’t seen her wearing any. 

She stared at her cup and seemed lost in thoughts. Victor didn’t know what to say. He himself didn’t know what he could do. So they sat and had tea. Yesterday was chamomile, the week before it had been fennel, the other earl grey, and today was anise. Anne and Lumi shared a love for tea he hadn’t seen in America before, but then again, they weren’t Americans. They were South Americans, he thought with a smile remembering how they had been angry when he had said they weren’t Americans at all. It didn’t take long for the smile to vanish. He had waited for a while and had asked the same question he did every day when he came to visit.

“Yes. She doesn’t want to leave her bed.” Anne said in a soft voice. “I’ve told her to leave that bedroom a little. Even if just for a few minutes. But she only listens to music and sleeps.”

“And she still doesn’t want to see me.”

“Nope. But, I still think you should. Just barge in there and talk to her.”

“I… She’s already in a bad place; I don’t want to make it worse. Once, she told me that when she said she wanted to be alone, it meant she wanted to be left alone. I’m trying to respect that.”

“She told me that many times too. But you know what?” Anne asked and waited for Victor to look up. “You don’t leave someone you love alone. You give time and space, sure. But you don’t leave her alone.” Anne completed with a shy smile. Lumi would be spitting fire if she woke up with Victor in her bedroom. Anne sighed thinking that never before had she seen Lumi so lifeless on a bed. The doctor hadn’t said she wouldn’t ever dance again, but Anne knew that Lumi’s time in the US to learn was very short and limited. She’d think that if she was to be kept from dancing for a year, she was better off not dancing for free at home. Lumi herself had said it the night she came back from the hospital.

“What happened? Where’s Victor?” Anne had asked the moment Lumi came in. Victor had just called to let her know things were bad. He hadn’t given many details, but she already knew Lumi needed surgery and wouldn’t be able to dance for a long time.

“He went home.” Lumi muttered on the way to her bedroom. She left her purse on the nightstand and sat heavily on the bed. The crutch hit the floor with a loud bang. “I want to be alone.”

“Fine. I’ll leave you alone,” Anne said from the door. “But tell me what happened first.” She picked the crutch up and leaned it on the wall next to her bed within her reach. She helped Lumi out of the coat and hung it on the hook behind the door. Giving Lumi a little time, she pulled down the covers of the bed and chose some pajamas from the drawer. When Lumi just sat there, Anne sat beside her. “Please. Just tell me.”

Lumi started to cry and told Anne what the doctor had said, between sobs. After that, Lumi had cried herself to sleep.

Since then, whenever Anne went to her bedroom with a tray of food, she caught Lumi staring into the space while some heart-breaking song played on her Ipod. Anne didn’t say anything. It wasn’t too long ago that she had been doing the same.

***

From the both of them, Lumi missed home the most. Of course, she was the youngest and deeply attached to her family. Leaving the country had only been possible, because of Anne was coming as well. Together they had lived for a full year in New York. And it looked like that was coming to an end sooner than either of them had anticipated, Anne thought as she drained her cup. She raised her eyes to look at Victor. He looked like he hadn’t slept in days; his dark blond hair was disheveled, his hazel eyes were reddened and there were shadows under them. The stubble on his face looked a week old and his T-shirt was wrinkled. Much, Anne thought, like herself.

Anne rose and signaled for Victor to follow her. She sat on the couch in the living room and sighed.

“I think… and that Lumi might be going home soon.”

Victor’s shoulders tensed up but he continued to stare at the floor.

“It won’t be long before Juilliard calls to know about her and we’ll have to say the truth. The second year tuition will be refunded and as it is, Lumi needs surgery and physical therapy. I agree that it should be done at home.”

“But… there are better doctors here, better therapists. Once she’s fit to dance again, she needs to be here.” I need her to be here, Victor thought desperately.

“Yeah, but… our family’s at home. I’d want to be home if it was me.”

Victor covered his face with his hands and leaned forward. He hadn’t slept at all the night before. He had feared all that Anne was saying now. He had another year at Juilliard to study before graduating, he couldn’t leave. Not that he’d follow her around the globe, but now that he almost had her, he didn’t want to lose her.

Anne touched his arm and sat beside him.

“If she goes, it doesn’t mean she’ll never come back.” Anne said softly.

Victor glanced up; he didn’t really know why, but anger was starting to boil in his blood. He took a deep breath and tried to calm down.

“Especially, if you give her a reason to come back. You should try to get some sleep. You can use that cover over there. Make yourself comfortable, okay? I’m going to try to sleep a little too.” And she left to her bedroom.

“Give her a reason to come back?” Victor muttered. “I’ve been trying to give her reasons for the last three months. I’m done.”

Victor got to his feet and tried to pace his anger off a little. It was no use. The more he thought about it, the angrier he got. Pissed, he went straight to Lumi’s bedroom and knocked.

“Go away.” Lumi’s voice came muffled through the door. Perfect, Victor thought and opened the door.

She was lying on the bed with covers up to her chin. Her laptop was over her nightstand and a song he recognized was playing. Her eyes were swollen and her face was red. So she had been crying, Victor thought. The tiny voice of reason told him to step back, step down and remember she was hurting, but he ignored it.

“You,” Victor said closing the door behind him, “have some nerve ignoring me.” When Lumi said nothing, Victor walked to the nightstand and shut the laptop lid down. “I am talking to you. You don’t want to talk to me, fine, but now I’ll talk and you’ll listen.”

Lumi’s eyes were wide and her mouth was open, as if ready to shoot back. But no sound came.

“If you want to be a coward, then be one. But at least acknowledge it. The doctor never said you wouldn’t dance ever again. Something bad happened and I’m really sorry, I am, but you can’t kick everyone for whatever happened to you. Anne’s worried sick about you. I can’t bloody sleep. I like my sleep and I’d like to have it back.”

“I’m not keeping you here in any way.”

“Oh, but you are. Because, for some reason I was stupid enough to fall in love with you and that keeps me here. You feel the same way about me, but you can’t admit it. After what happened to your sister, I thought you’d wake up. Life’s too bloody short. But no. You’re so attached to your stubbornness that you do nothing else but eat and sleep.”

“Whatever I do is none of your business. Are you done?”

“Not even close. I know you’re thinking of going back home. I can’t ask you not to. Your family probably wants you home as soon as possible. I get that. I also get that you’re sad and that dancing was your life, but you won’t die if you can’t do it for a year. Not even if you really want to.”

Lumi’s heart was pounding in her chest. She knew her face was red and warm because her blood was also pounding in her ears. She hadn’t felt this kind of rage in a long time. Who the hell did this British asshole thought he was? She’d like to see if he had been sentenced to a year without his music, and at the end of that, hadn’t been given any certainty that he’d ever play again. The stupid saxophone. She never hated saxophones more in her life than now. Patience gone, she threw the covers aside and sat up.

“I don’t care. Got it? I don’t care. About you, about dancing, about how you feel about what I’m doing. This is my life now, I can’t do anything else. You think I don’t know? I know she just lost someone dear to her and now she’s taking care of me. But that’s also none of your business. I am going home. I miss my family, I don’t want to go through surgery here and make Anne take care of me. She’s going to London soon. So, if you’re done shoving that crap down my throat, I think you should go.”

Victor looked at her. He stood there and looked. He had been hurt by a lot of the things she said in ways he didn’t even believe she could understand. But having her kick him to the curb as if he meant nothing to her snapped something in him. On a sudden move that startled both of them, Victor put his right knee on the bed next to her, grabbed her face with both of his hands and crushed his mouth to hers. Lumi’s eyes widened in shock and she tried to fight him away, but he didn’t even bulge. He poured his frustration, his anger and even his hurt into the kiss.

When his lips let hers go, he rested his forehead over hers. Even as her fisted hands hit his chest.

“I hate that I’m in love with you.” Victor whispered.

Lumi’s hands lowered to her lap and the tears she had been trying to hold back, were running free. Something inside of her desperately wanted to be set free. She desperately wanted to set it free. But, and that was even cleared to her than what she felt, things needed to be put back where they belonged.

She grabbed his wrists and pulled them away from her face. Victor’s eyes widened as he watched her. She could see how much she already was hurting him, but it was no use. She’d be leaving in three days. The sooner she dealt with it, the sooner she could start working in getting over him. She had listened to his voice everyday in the house the last week. He had come, had worried, had asked about her. She had been so happy when she heard his voice. But she knew things needed to be ended before they went too far.

She didn’t believe in long distance relationships. She’d never be able to come back and have this same life again. It was her mother’ money, not hers. Without dancing, she had nothing left. She’d have to find something back home and try to build a life on it. She had thought a lot in the last few days and now she knew very clearly what she needed to do.

“I am leaving in three days. I didn’t mean to hurt you, I’m sorry. But this is as far as this goes.” Lumi sobbed. She was trying hard not to cry but the tears wouldn’t stop and the words wouldn’t come out clearly.

“That’s it?”

“Yes.”

“And I have no say in it?”

“It's my life. Why would you have a say in it?” Lumi cleared her throat and went on. “I appreciate all you’ve done for me. And I wish you the best in your life.” Her voice had gotten cold and distant. Her heat was breaking in tiny pieces, but her head was set. Her heart would catch up sooner or later, she thought.

“I see.” Victor stepped back to look at her. Really look at her. He pierced her eyes with his, nodded and opened the door. “I hope you don’t regret this.” And left, closing the door behind him.

“I hate that I love you too.” Lumi whispered to herself.

When she heard the living room door open and close, she couldn’t hold it any longer. She dropped back on the bed and cried like she never did before.

*

Chapter 17: What dreams are made of

He had been staring at the ceiling for the last forty five minutes.

Legs apart, arms supporting his head, he laid on his bed, trying to organize his thoughts. Boxes were piled all around the room, but the loft was very spacious, and with no furniture yet, it felt rather empty. There were no curtains on the windows and door that opened to the balcony on the living room, so the cloudy afternoon was visible, giving notice that rain would soon be here.

The apartment had been a bold decision, considering his tight budget. But he was done with living in a place too small to stretch your own legs. Hell, he thought, leaving the US had been even bolder. But he was also done with the life he had built in New York.

He loved the city. That he did; the noise, the energy, the opportunities. He loved the feel of the city, its buildings and its people. The city had never been a problem. But somehow, he began to change the moment he moved there. At first, he faced the demands from work as part of it; part of starting a new job, part of moving to a new city. But, last summer when his sister had come to spend a few weeks with him, she had been appalled by him and had mercilessly shoved the truth he was trying to ignore down his throat.

“When did you start living like a hermit?”

“Hermit?”

“You’re right. Hermits avoid people. You seem to be avoiding yourself. Besides, your apartment is a mess and your kitchen smells like something died there. What happened?”

“I’m just too busy. Don’t worry.” He looked over at his baby sister and for the first time, realized how much she had grown. “You look exactly like mom.”

“What?! Kill me now. No, wait; you’ve already been doing that. Making me sustain this smell. I can’t stand it anymore.” Satyana rose from the couch where she had been sitting among dirty and clean clothes, and walked over to spread the windows open. As fresh air came in, her long hair flew around her face. “What happened?” She asked with her back to him. “Is it Gabriella again?”

“Brie and I are fine. Sat, just leave it alone.”

“I know I’ve said this before, but I don’t like her. She’s always making you do things you don’t want to. Why do you let her?” Satyana turned and knelt in front of her older brother. “And you’re working too much. You should come home.” She framed his face with her hands and looked right into his eyes that were just like hers. He was twelve years older, which should put quite a distance between them, but from all his siblings, they were the closest.

“I left home for a reason. And I’m okay here. Really.”

But he wasn’t. Really. He was spending his whole day at the office, dealing with clients and the projects, while, at night, instead of sleeping, he worked on his designs. He was in a bad mood, tired and hadn’t time to eat real meals, so was basically fueling on junk food. As he stared at the ceiling, rain began to fall. He sighed, and turned on his side and shut his eyes. But the biggest problem of all, had been realizing how much he had started to hate his work. One Friday, he had woken up on his desk and had realized he hadn’t lied down once all week.

It still left him astonished to realize how long it had taken him to wake up and look around the mess he had made.

With Gabriella it had been the same. Natural, he could say. They had met in the elevator from his office’s building. He had been mesmerized by the beautiful red head with gorgeous blue eyes. She had accepted his invitation for coffee and things had run smoothly from then on. Or maybe, he just wanted to remember it that way. As quickly as they had matched each other’s rhythm, they had started to grow apart. The practical answer had been to move in together, and so they had.

The first few months had been a dream. They left together for work and at night, tried to eat together as much as their schedules allowed. But, as Brie was a reporter and ended up being summoned at any time of day or night for a story, and as his nights were for his work, whenever they were home, they slept.

So, after five months, she had suddenly decided that they should get married. To him, it had been an impossible situation. How could they get married when they barely saw each other? As much as it had been a clear solution to her, it seemed the worst one for him. And, to his shock, after he realized that, it had been really hard to admit, even to himself, that he might still love Brie.

“Crap.” Okay, why was he thinking about this depressing stuff again? He was tired as hell, had been up since 5 in the morning, cleaning the apartment for the boxes that would be arriving later, and still couldn’t manage to shut down his mind and sleep.

Grunting, he sat up and caught the floormap. He thought about the furniture he'd be buying soon and sighed. His clothes were still on suitcases that, he suddenly remembered, were stuck beneath some of the boxes. Great. No clothes to change, tons of boxes to unpack and he couldn’t sleep. Getting up, he left the room. If he couldn’t sleep, he’d start the damn unpacking.

***

“But… I’d lose my scholarship, right?”

“Yes.”

“And how much is the tuition?”

“Around £15.000 for the academic year.”

“Hmm... that makes...”

“U$23.509” the representative from LSE pushed his glasses back up on his nose and continued to stare at Anne with indifference.

“And close to… R$41000... Oh God…”

Without my scholarship, there was no way she’d manage to pay that tuition. What was she going to do? As much as it had been her dream to study at NYU, LSE was the place to study her field of research. Whoever had sent her application, and she had an idea of who had done that, hadn’t really worried about financial issues. 

“Miss? If you give me your name and passport number, I can check our data base and see what type of student you have qualified to be.”

London was still cursed for her; she hadn’t been able to stay, how would she live there? Would she be able to attend classes where he died? She probably should just get up and leave, finish her Masters where she had already built a life and think about doctorate and stuff later. Truth was, she wasn’t even going to come but Lumi had bugged her out of the apartment. In the end, she just came to see what was what.

“There seems to be something wrong.”

“Ah… It’s okay, I…” I just wanted to get up and leave, she thought desperately. She was settling her bag strap on her shoulder when everything changed.

“It seems that you were granted a thirty percent scholarship, making your tuition £14.000, which has already been paid.”

“What?”

“Your LSE education has been paid off. Completely. The only requirement is for you to cancel your attendance at NYU as soon as possible and attend the beginning of term by the start of November. There is, however, another matter that seems to be waiting for trial by the administrative department. You’ve applied for the Masters Program but wished to have been accepted for the Doctorate Program, is that correct? The decision is scheduled to be published in two weeks.”

“What? I…”

“It is not very unusual. However, it only happens when your master thesis has been of interest to the School, with a sole approval of a Professor with PhD on the same matter. If that is the case, you’d be authorized to finish your masters at NYU, even required to, having the obligation to finish it by the end of the current month, being granted the excuse to miss the first two weeks of the Doctorate Program.”

“I… don’t know what to say. Doctorate at LSE?”

“Yes.” The representative seemed to be annoyed at the idea of someone so slow to have been granted a place and worse, a scholarship at LSE.

“And… how can I get a Professor with a PhD on my thesis subject to approve my transference?”

“You can only apply if that’s the case. It is. Dr. McCarthy has signed your request. I’m sorry, but am I to understand that it was not you who applied?”

“Er… no. I’m just… confirming the details. Okay, how much is the tuition?”

“Minus what has already been paid, would be approximately £14.890 per academic year. The Doctorate on your area can take from two to six years. It all depends on your interest.”

“Ha. Six. Okay. Let’s pretend that I have this money. What do I have to do now?”

I pushed the door open, an hour later, and took several deep breaths. I couldn’t believe it. Dr. McCarthy signing approval for me? It had to be a joke. But then, it made pretty clear who had applied and done the whole work for me.

Her heart felt suffocated. She felt suffocated. How had this happened? Why? And… live in London? She hadn’t managed to stay there after the accident, how was she ever going to move and live there? What was Eli thinking? And he paid her tuition? Was he crazy?

Or was she? She had noticed that Eli was making plans ahead. Serious plans ahead. Moving back to London had been one of his dreams. One he had often mentioned that would be perfect if he got to teach where he had studied

Maybe… what was it with this now? Anne thanked the representative, got up and left.

***

Noah hated the first day at work. Any work. But he had an idea that an American’s first day among British would be quite harder. You had no idea how things worked, you didn’t know anybody and you couldn’t count on anyone. It was like walking on eggshells. As he worked on his tie knot, he glanced at his clothes spread over his bed. He desperately needed to work on the closet. If he were home, he’d just buy wood and make himself shelves and a hanger. Maybe in a couple of months, he’d be able to find a shop that would let him use the space to build whatever he wanted.

His father had been a carpenter his whole life. Noah and his siblings had worked on their father’s shop on their summer vacations throughout their teens. Ethan and Seth had hated every second of it. You could see on their faces how much they loathed spending their mornings working with wood. In time, his father had given up on them. But Noah and Satyana stayed. Satyana had shown a real talent for it, the furniture she built was not only well made, but beautifully done. It was no surprise when she chose Industrial Design for her career. But Noah, although not as good as her, had found his love for designing and building in the carpentry. As much as other people just went into a store and bought cabinets and balconies, to Noah, it meant an opportunity to build something fitting to each of your needs.

Locking the door behind him, he rushed to the stairs. A little blonde was just coming from upstairs and stepped aside to let him pass. He signaled for her to go first.

“Thanks.” She gave him a bright smile.

“You’re welcome.”

“Are you new on the building?”

“Yep. Just moved in.”

“Ah, you’re American?”

“Yeah.”

“I love Americans.” She said climbing back one step and rubbing her body against his. Noah stepped back.

“Hmm. Right.”

“Are you single?” She asked again stepping forward and trapped him against the wall.

“You’re very… direct.” And was making him uncomfortable. Aggressive women did not attract him at all. In the beginning was nice and enticing, and any man would be at least curious to see where it went. But to him, felt like desperation. And desperate women were never good.

“I do not see the point in being otherwise. I’m Bridget.”

“Ah… Yeah. I’m single... I mean Noah.” And Bridget mistook Noah’s discomfort for pouting.

“Brilliant. Hmm, Noah, why don’t we have dinner at my house tonight?”

“Sorry… I…” The entrance door opened and a family of three entered the hall. Noah smiled with relief and stepped out with a little wave. Bridget smiled back while her index finger trailed from her bottom lip to her cleavage. Noah’s smiled died and he had to bite his lips to keep from laughing at the absurdity of it.

Why did he only attract the crazy ones? There had to be a reason; some sort of pheromones he expelled that only crazy women captured. Two days in, he already had someone to avoid.

He crossed the street and had the impression that the traffic was a little less crazy than New York’s. Until a taxi nearly ran over him coming from the wrong direction in a one way street. If he ended up in the Hospital on his first real day in a new country, he wouldn't sustain the shame.

As soon as he stepped in front of building, he felt how different the atmosphere was. The five-floor building was all made of glass and you could see from outside, the lights and colors and people. It felt alive. A huge body where you could see each of its parts working and moving, living. He had no idea what waited for him inside, but from this perspective, he had made the right decision to come. On a deep breath, Noah stepped in.

***

Anne arrived home close to 6p.m. Lumi had a doctor’s appointment at seven-thirty, and she desperately wanted to lie down before living the house again to face New York. It felt like ages ago when going out to take a loaded subway or bus, or to fight for a cab felt like an adventure. Now she was desperately missing the practicality of getting your own car and getting to wherever you wanted to go with no other worries. She deliberately ignored the problems of where to park, traffic and insurance.

While she sulked in the couch, Lumi sat on the chair across from her.

“So? How was it? When are you leaving?”

“I…” Anne sighed, “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“What? Why?”

“It’s too much.” Anne closed her eyes and sighed again. “Eli paid for it. Had his ex-girlfriend sign a request for his new girlfriend’s doctorate. I’d have to finish my masters here by the end of October and be in London ready to start by November 5^th. What else? Oh yeah, Eli was ran over by a car and died bleeding in the middle of a street.”

Lumi watched Anne and tried to calm herself. Her sister was suffering. She had just lost a man she loved. She… was being offered a chance to get a PhD in London and was complaining about life. If there was stage where you had to oversee any other problems, to step over and shake someone up even someone that was hurting, it was now.

“Hey. Stop sinking in self-pity. What do you have to do to go to London?”

“Self-pity? What the…? What’s the matter with you?”

“The matter with me? I was also run over by a car. I’m missing practice, missing classes and I’m getting fat, because all I do all day is eat. I can’t do anything else in this house but sleep, watch TV and eat. My ass is the size of São Paulo. My left leg is useless. I’m scared of not recovering in time for the end of the year presentation. I’m scared to death of not recovering at all. I know you’re hurt. I know you’re sad. Eli died and I’m really sorry. But it’s enough. You said he paid for your tuition?”

“Part of it. I got a scholarship and he paid the rest. Is he crazy?”

“Apparently he was crazy for you. And you’re here telling me you’re not going? Over my dead body.”

“Lumi, I can’t live there. I couldn’t stay there. I’m… thinking about going back home.”

“Home?!”

“Yeah. I’m tired. I miss everybody. I miss my stupid brother that loathes me. I miss my never happy about anything I do mother. I miss driving a car. I miss people speaking Portuguese.”

“Fuck that. I miss them too. Sometimes I miss my mom so much I cry myself to sleep. But you want to drive a car? Doesn’t Mel have one? Borrow it. You miss people speaking Portuguese? Best Buy has Portuguese speaking attendants. Go there. Seriously. I know it’s hard. It’s hard watching you deal with it. I can’t imagine how hard it is. But he left you a gift. Maybe he was planning on moving there with you. Either way, it’s a chance you’ll never have again. Finish the stupid masters you and Eli worked hard on doing during summer.” Anne that had been staring at Lumi with a mouth hanging open, raised her brows in surprise. “Yes, I know. You two only talked about that crap all the time. Dedicate it to him. Finish it. Apply for a Student Visa for the United Kingdom and go.”

Anne simply stared back. She didn’t know what to say. Usually, she was the one doing the ass-kicking speech to get Lumi out of the couch, whom sprawled in it very much like the way Anne did now. But Lumi was there. I wanted to cry. So much that I started laughing.

“You’re definitely crazy, did you know that?”

“Bossy mean bitch is on.”

“Whatever. The hospital’s a little far and it’s rush hour. I’m going to be late and I hate being late.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Anne got up and helped Lumi put her coat on. On an impulse, she threw her arms around Lumi and hugged her tight. “But how am I going to leave you behind here by yourself?”

“I can take care of myself. And with you there, I’d have great excuses to visit London.”

“Hmm.” Anne put on her own coat and tried to think fast. “Why don’t I ask Victor to take you tonight?”

“Victor? No. Are you crazy? Why?”

“I could repeat the same speech you just gave me. Stop fighting against it so badly. He’s worried about you. Kit told me he asks about you several times a day. Just call him, won’t you? Or I will. Hmm, in fact, I’ll do it now.” Anne said and fished her cell from her purse. Lumi tried to take it from her, but she ran to the other side of the living room with Lumi’s cluster.

“That’s unfair. And politically incorrect.”

But Anne had already dialed.

“Victor? This is Anne. Yes. I’m sorry to call you so out of the blue but I wanted to ask a favor. Hmm. No. Yes, she’s fine. Actually it’s about her. Yes. She has an appointment back at the hospital in an hour and I can’t make it with her. Can you take her for me?”

“No! I’m going by myself!” Lumi shouted from across the living room with an annoyed expression, and limped her way to the door. Anne ran, closed the door with her foot and stood there.

“No, she’s right here. You’re at Juilliard right? Great. Okay. Thanks!”

“I hate you.” Lumi said out of breath from the limping.

“It’s okay. You’ll love me later. Someone had to do something, or you two would take another 20 years to get together.” Anne planted a kiss in Lumi’s cheek and ran to her bedroom. “He’s coming. Let’s fix your hair a little. That knot’s a little sad. And put on some makeup.”

“I hate you more.”

***

Lumi sat on the couch sulking, her arms crossed over her belly, trying to figure how to escape. Anne had taken the keys and she had an appointment in less than forty-five minutes twenty blocks away. She thought about calling to reschedule and then having Anne deal with Victor, but she couldn’t stand the damn casket anymore. Her leg itched so much she couldn’t sleep at night. And the sooner she got rid of it, the sooner she’d start rehab and go back to dancing. She missed it as much as she missed walking. When the interphone rang, her heart skipped a beat.

Anne came running from her bedroom where she had been taking refuge from Lumi for the past fifteen minutes. She signaled the release from the entrance and went to wait by the open door. Lumi considered running past her but she’d encounter Victor in the stairs, and it would have been pretty hard to escape him. Resigned, she put on the coat she had thrown on the floor and stood leaning on her crutch.

When Victor appeared on the door, Lumi deliberately ignored his presence. She limped her way to the door and passed by him.

“Call me after!” Anne called from the door next to Victor. Lumi ignored her.

“Hmm, she’s pissed. This is going to be fun…” Victor said quietly with sarcasm. “Is she okay?”

“She’s been complaining a lot from pain whenever she raises her leg up while lying down. She’s been having difficulty wriggling her toes as well. I’m worried. But I think you two need to spend a little time together. You let me know about the outcome?”

“I think you should go with her.”

“I do too. I want to go. Believe me. But I don’t think there’s much I’ll be able to do. I haven’t been a lot of help for her to hang on. And you look as worried as I am. It’s okay. Just be sure to call me, okay?”

“All right. I will.”

“Hey, are any of you ever going to help me get downstairs?” Lumi shouted from down the hall.

“She looks really pissed.” Victor whispered.

“She is. Just give it a little time. It’ll wear off. She’s been missing you. Bye.” Victor turned with a smile and ran to get to Lumi. Love, Anne thought, funny weird little thing.

***

“This way, please.”

Noah had been waiting for twenty minutes in the lobby. The atmosphere was so energetic he had little time to worry about anything else. He loved to observe people and here, it had been even more interesting. Young or old, everybody wore suits. Englishmen and their love for suits. But, surprisingly, it had not been the tweed he thought he’d see. There were every color and every texture walking by. Interesting. He was not a fan of fashion or anything. But he believed that when you stepped out of your comfort zone for clothes, it meant something. Some sort of statement. He considered interesting the statements people were giving here.

Now, he followed the secretary in the aubergine suit, passing by closed offices. Beautifully fit, he thought. Well, he liked textures, but he was also a man. Remembering it was probably bad to be caught staring at the secretary’s butt, he glanced around. He had passed by the architect’s desks before and hadn’t realized some architects had their own offices. He recognized some of the names on the doors and definitely recognized a lot of the works that were exposed along the walls. Nearing the end of the hallway, one framed work caught his attention. It was a residential design signed by Artemis Harris and it was one of Noah’s favorites. He hadn’t realized it was Artemis Harris from Lucas Harris. In awe, he stepped closer and admired the lines and the complexity of the house.

“Are you familiar with my work?” a male voice called from behind Noah. He turned surprised, and faced the tall man in front of him. He knew he was on his late forties, but didn’t look older than Noah himself at all.

“Yes, sir.” Noah tried to see the secretary had gone but couldn’t find her at all. Crap, now he was lost and apparently the boss had just found him. “I’m starting here today. I’m Noah Archer, nice to meet you, sir. I’m a fan of your work.” Noah added offering his hand.

Artemis had been quite surprised to find the new architect examining that work in particular. It had been made by him many years before for a special person. It was his favorite, although very simple and very different from the other works exposed on the walls. Usually the Human Resources took care of showing new employees around but he had wanted a personal view on Noah Archer. His portfolio had impressed him a lot. He thrived in work with wood and his designs felt fresh even without the crazy newer projects had. Which made an even bigger impression on him. Artemis considered himself a good judge of character and Noah Archer had tickled his curiosity. He wanted to see what was what.

“Yes, Ms. Bellows just informed me.  I was going for some coffee, you came on a good time. Might you join me in a cup?”

“Of course.” Noah hadn’t brought his portfolio with him. It had downed on him that maybe someone would want to see his work before letting him work on any project. All in all, he only had a name in Architecture for the last three years. And that had been in America. Here it was starting over. He walked along Harris and found himself a little intimidated; many architect students had one or a few of renowned famous architects that inspired them. Artemis Harris had been one of them to Noah. Alongside Renzo Piano, Norman Foster and, specially, Peter Eisenman, Artemis Harris was one of Noah’s idols. And now he was walking in the halls of his office getting ready to work under his name. “I saw a Peter Eisenman design on the walls. He made a design for Lucas Harris?”

“Oh, no. Peter Eisenman’s a personal friend. He gave me that design when I studied with him on Cambridge. He was my professor.” He liked this fellow, Artemis decided. He didn’t have much patience with the new architects that appeared nowadays. They had so many colors on, earrings and horrific clothes, he couldn’t quite decide if the person wanted to show he could wear architecture on himself. And when you analyzed their work, it usually had that crazy factor that made it bad to the eyes. He was all for modern, for avant-garde, for nouveau, for new concepts. But just because it looked interesting in imagination did not mean it’d look and function in reality. Didn’t Universities teach that anymore? Noah’s designs had shown an intensity he hadn’t seen in a while. “Are you a fan of Eisenman’s?”

“Yes.”

“Which of his designs you like the most?”

“Hmm, I know how this is going to sound, I don’t mean to be disrespectful, but I’m not really a fan of his designs. I’m a fan of his concept. His… approach, you could say.”

Interesting guy indeed, Artemis thought. Critics were always commenting his controversial ways but usually overlooked the depth the concept had behind them. Eisenman was an anti-humanist, master of deconstructivism. His designs weren’t meant to be enjoyed. They were to be admired. There was a big difference. And it seemed the boy knew it.

“I’m a fan of Niemeyer’s as well. Have you heard of him?”

“The Brazilian? Yes. I’m not a big fan of the jungle of concrete. I prefer the organic, functional concept.”

“I see. Here, the cafeteria’s this way.”

“You don’t sound British, sir.”

“I grew up in Brazil. After that, my father, who was a diplomat, became British Ambassador in Germany. When it comes to accents, I don’t really have on that fits anywhere. I quite like that. But don’t call me sir. Makes me feel old. Everybody calls me Harris.”

“All right. I hope to meet Mr. Lucas soon as well. I like a few of his designs too.”

“His…” Artemis said with a laugh. He was about to correct him, but decided it’d be more interesting this way. His wife had that coming, he thought, remembering when they first decided the name of their joint offices. She had demanded that her last name was put first, since after they got married she had always been referred to as Kadri Harris.

“Sir, madam Kadri’s on line two”, Ms. Bellows said from the door.

“Thinking of the devil… It was nice to meet you, Noah. Welcome to UK and welcome to Lucas Harris. Laurel will show you around and lead you to your desk. You can reach me in my office if you need anything.”

Noah sighed after Artemis left. The coffee was good, the boss was nice and the atmosphere was making him want to get to work. As first days went, this one seemed pretty awesome so far. When Laurel, Ms. Bellows, Noah corrected himself, came back to fetch him, he followed her with a content smile.

***

“Stop trying to push me away, please. It’s making it harder to help you.”

“I don’t need your help.” Lumi said when she nearly was hit again by someone rushing by them in the Hospital hall. They had been silent the whole cab ride over. “Actually, you can go. Thank you for bringing me here. I can take from here.”

“No. What floor is it?”

“Fifth.” Lumi said with disgust. Each second it passed, she felt more uncomfortable. She despised Anne for it. Glancing to her side, she saw Victor’s serious face. He did seem worried. On a sudden move, he caught an empty wheelchair and had Lumi sit. As much as she was annoyed with him, she was grateful not to have to walk anymore. The crutch hurt her wrist after a while and her right leg was swelling from the effort.

“I don’t think I’ll ever understand why you loath me so much.”

“Loath? I don’t hate you.”

“You act like it. In fact, you’ve been acting like it since the record store.”

It made Lumi smile. She remembered the Hey, Soul Sister incident and nearly laughed out loud from the stupidity of it. Victor caught her smiling and softened his expression. When the doctor called her name, they entered the room in silence. Lumi laid down on the gurney and the doctor analyzed it with a serious face. It made Victor’s concern climb up a notch, but he didn’t say anything. The doctor seemed a lot younger than him, but instead of worrying about knowledge he felt a little more comforted. He had grown up surrounded by older people that always acted like they knew more because of their age and rarely did.

“The nurse will take you to get some X-rays and get a blood sample and then, we’ll discuss your development, okay? Do you have any questions?” The doctor said without looking up. Victor was annoyed by it, but Lumi seemed undisturbed by it. She nodded and when the nurse came, she went without saying anything. “I thought her sister was coming with her”, Doctor Andrews said.

“She couldn’t make it. I’m a friend. You can tell me everything and I’ll let her sister know.”

“Hmm. I’m really worried about how swollen her toes are. Muscles, when they are not used for a long time, they atrophy. Hers are swollen. It can mean a simple inflammation.”

“Or?”

“Or the bones did not glue back together right. It may need surgery. If that’s the case, we’ll need to use metal pins. Her recovery would take much longer. You see, her ankle was severely broken, to put in simple words. It’s a rather difficult recovery either way. Her sister mentioned she was a ballet dancer.”

“Yes”, Victor replied with a sick fear in his heart. He already knew what the doctor was going to say. If something happened to his fingers and he couldn’t play anymore, he’d be as good as dead. “She came from Brazil to study Ballet here.”

“I see. Well, I don’t want to scare you anymore than I have to before seeing the test results. We should just wait for them.”

“But what is the worst case scenario?”

“If she walks normally again, it’ll already be a great thing. It’s not that she won’t be able to walk. She will. But her ankle probably won’t sustain the body weight.” The doctor looked right into Victor’s eyes and saw what kind of friend this was. He hated giving this kind of news.

“And… if that’s the case, isn’t there anything else we can do?”

“I’m afraid not.”

The nurse opened the door and pushed Lumi in. The moment she saw Victor’s face her stomach fell. His hands were fisted over his thighs and his back was tensed up.

“Just tell me.” She said looking at the doctor.

He got up and examined the X-rays on the monitor. He did it so quickly that Victor wondered if he actually saw anything.

“I was just telling Mister…”

“Allen. Victor Allen.”

“Mr. Allen about the possible outcomes. It is better than what I feared.”

Lumi glanced at Victor. She had tears swimming in her eyes. He reached and grabbed her hand. Her first instinct was to pull it free, but he held tighter. Her world was crumbling down, she desperately needed to hold on to him. “Can you just tell me?”

“I feared we would have to break your bones again to have them… glue back together the right way. It still needs surgery, but we won’t have to break any bones. The problem, however, is that there seems to be a stroke on your ankle. Haven’t you felt pain in the last days?”

“I did. But I thought it was normal.”

“It’s not something to really worry about. I’ll open, have the source fixed and it’ll be fine.”

Lumi let out the air she had been holding. But something in the doctor’s expression told her that was not all of it.

“About the recovery…”

“Will I be able to dance?”

“That we’ll only be able to know after you’re healed and have had the physical therapy. There’s nothing that can tell me you won’t be able to. But… it’ll be a long recovery.”

“How long?”

“We’re looking into ten months, maybe a year.”

“What? My sister broke her leg when she was six and after half that she was walking normally.”

“Children heal a lot faster. And your ankle was smashed. The foot has a lot of little bones. It’s different than the leg. You had fractures on your foot too. I’m very sorry.”

Lumi wanted to cry. Hell, she already was crying. She wanted to get up and leave. The thing is… she couldn’t get up. She looked at Victor with pleading eyes and he got up. After he thanked the doctor, he pushed her out.

“I’m sorry.”

“Can you... take me home? I just want to go home.”

“Okay.”