"Do you know what scares me the most?"
"What?"
"That I can fall in love with him. I haven't. Yet."
"It's completely normal. You shouldn't be scared. He's a loveable guy."
"That's why it scares me. I've seen what love can make me do."
"Are you going to spend your life running from things because you're scared?"
"I have done that. And what I learned is that you can run. You will probably succeed. But in the end, you'll end up where you were supposed to be. The things you run from always catch up."
"They do. They really do. So, does that mean you'll stay with him?"
"I don't know what that means..."
"Oh baby, one thing is always true, no matter where you come from, no matter who you are, love's always worth anything."
"Is it? I don't know."
Delilah reached and took my hand in hers. I kept watching the water shimmering in the sun. Someone was listening to The Carpenters nearby. Delilah leaned her head on my shoulder and sighed. "We've only just begun..."
For a while we just sat on the grass, lost in the song.
"Are you thinking about Daniel?" she asked meaning my ex, when the song ended.
"Not only, but yes. I dream of him from time to time. I have no idea why. I've been over that for a long time now."
"Are you sure?"
"No." I laughed. "Are you really ever completely over someone you were in love with?"
"It takes time, but I think so, yes. Do you miss him?"
"I do. I never say it out loud, never let myself think about him too much. But I miss him. He was my best friend."
"I ran into him before coming here."
"It takes time, but I think so, yes. Do you miss him?"
"I do. I never say it out loud, never let myself think about him too much. But I miss him. He was my best friend."
"I ran into him before coming here."
"Oh. And?"
"We talked. He was getting his life back on its tracks. I was happy for him."
"That's wonderful."
"It really is. I think that what is unfinished for me isn't really about him, though. It has to do with me."
"Why?"
"From time to time I think about who I used to be, who I was with him. That was the longest relationship I've ever had. The deepest. I lost myself in that relationship."
"I see. But, you know, I think we always lose ourselves a little when we love someone."
"Are you lost now?"
"Of myself? I am. But not in a bad way."
"How being lost can be something good?"
"Anything can be seen in good and bad ways. Even a death can be positive. It's not about being lost. It's about the versions of yourself. With Richard, I'm the best version of myself. After Neil, I was the worse version. It took me a long time to find myself again. It's hard to describe how you get from one point to another. One day, I was broken. Really broken. I went from place to place, living from one obsession to another. Desperate to fill my emptiness."
"I know what you mean. Somehow I know exactly what you mean. And, scary thought, I don't think I've found myself yet. And scarier, I think that with Daniel I began as the best version I had ever been so far, and became my worst version ever."
"Hmm, I can see why you're scared of being in love. Of being in love again. From someone that has been where I've been, let me tell you: be honest with yourself. But you know what? You don't have to be whole to be in love again. Richard was the most important piece of being whole again. Love is very important."
"I think... part of me knew we weren't going to last. And because of that, I desperately, desperately wanted it to last. He kept getting sick, kept moving backwards... I became the worst version of myself. I don't ever want to be that person again. Do you know what scares me the most?"
"What?"
"That I might have been the reason why he never got completely healed. Between our misunderstandings, our stupid fights, that I was the thing keeping him from getting better. That scares me. To this day. I'm scared of being in love again and becoming this person again."
"What?"
"That I might have been the reason why he never got completely healed. Between our misunderstandings, our stupid fights, that I was the thing keeping him from getting better. That scares me. To this day. I'm scared of being in love again and becoming this person again."
"I mean it. Being loved is very important. It's vital. You can live, you can work, you can have children on your own. But being loved is like... I don't know. You can be, simply, by breathing and doing what you have to do, but when you're fulfilled, you're the best version of yourself. Being loved does that."
"I suppose" I said after a while, "that if I accept that, and I do, it means to realize that I've never felt truly loved. For some reason, that scares me even more."
"With Richard I've realized something."
"What?"
"Being a couple, being in a relationship, can be going to the movies, sharing bills and problems, sex and waking up together. But it can also be an encounter, like a merge. I loved Neil and in the end, he told me himself, he knew he'd never loved me. In the end, I realized I always knew he had never loved me. It's scary, but it only meant that he wasn't the only one lying. It seems tacky but love is something that happens. You can't control and you can't design it. Richard is not what I always thought I wanted. He's not the sweet, funny guy. He makes me laugh because he understands me. It's so different. He's not tall and gorgeous, but to me he's incredibly beautiful. I never have the urge to ask if he loves me. When we're together, I know. It's simple and outrageously complex at the same time. I wish what I have for you."
"Hmm..."
"Anne, do you know what is your biggest problem? Your biggest flaw?"
"Should I brace myself?"
"You let your fear take control of your emotions. You're afraid of being happy. And after that, you let your emotions take control of yourself. I like Eli. He's a nice guy. He seems to be in awe of you and that is wonderful to see. Don't be afraid to trust. Take a chance."
The leaves of the trees nearby were soflty moving with the wind. I was looking up, fighting a desperate urge to cry. Delilah had a way of putting things in words that some people weren't even able to feel. She put her arm around me and started to sing along. "Why do birds suddenly appear, everytime you're near? Just like me, they long to be, close to you..."
I couldn't hold the tears anymore. As she sang, I laughed. And cried. She held me and kept singing. "Just like me, they long to be... close to you..."
***
When Lumi arrived home I was sprawled on the couch looking at the ceiling and listening to The Carpenters.
"Oh-oh..." she took slow steps and left her things by the door. She sat on the floor beside me and looked at me. I could feel her gaze burning on my face but I never took my eyes off the ceiling. "What happened?"
I shook my head. She stayed there for another minute, then, sighing, got up and went into her bedroom.
What Delilah had said still lingered in my mind. She had been through so much in her life. And somehow, there she was, sure of herself, of her mind, of life. She had two daughters and was about to be forty and didn't look a day older than thirty. I had met her one month after I arrived in New York. She was a writer and had dozens of books published. One afternoon I walked in a bookstore and they were having an autograph, meet the author program, and the author was Delilah Hart. I had never heard of her. I was going through the books I had picked from the shelf in one of the sofa chairs and a woman that was sitting a two chairs away was looking at me. I looked up and she smiled. I smiled back and went back to my book. She was beautiful; long black hair that waived to her waist, golden skin, almond shaped green eyes. I remember she was wearing an emmerald green dress and black leather boots. I was taking another book to look and noticed she was still looking in my direction. I looked up.
"You know, I hate to drink coffee on my own. Are you here by yourself?" she asked.
"Yes."
"Would you accompany me on a cup of coffee? The bookstore has a café upstairs." I didn't know what to do. That kind of thing never happened to me. My father made friends wherever he went. He was always taking too long to run errands because he stopped to chat wherever he went. But I'd never had the same ease when talking to strangers. But that woman had such a nice... I don't know, aura, I caught myself nodding and left the books I'd been browsing in the nearest table.
"I'm Lilah" she said offering her hand.
"I'm Anne." I replied while we climbed the stairs.
"You are not American, right?"
"Right. Brazilian."
"Oh I love Brazil. I've been there with my husbad twice. I love the climate, the views, the energy. I spent two weeks in a place near... Recife? And one weekend in São Paulo. São Paulo felt like a miniature New York to me."
"I've been having the same impression. You don't sound American either."
"I'm not. I was born in France but I grew up in Australia. Got married to an American, though."
"Wow..." I really was impressed. I had always wished I could describe myself that way. Being born in a place and have lived in different cities across the globe. I wasn't quite there yet.
And, over three cups of coffee that had left my head dizzy and my stomach aching, Lilah and I became friends. We talked for hours and when the bookstore was about to close for the day, I remembered I had missed my evening class. She gave me her phone number and told me to call whenever I felt like sharing stories again.
Earlier this day, I had been at home when she texted me asking for company for a picnic at Central Park. And that was how I ended up in the couch, later the same day, thinking depthless thoughts, trying to answer bottomless questions.
An hour later, when the light of the day had gone and I hadn't noticed I was lying in the dark, my cellphone rang. I could see its light shining over the dinner table but had no strength to get up and take it. Lumi came out of her bedroom and picked it up.
"Anne's phone. Oh hi, yes, this is Lumi. She's... I'll get her. Just one moment. Anne?" I could see her shape in the dark coming to my side. "Are you awake? Why are you in the dark?"
"I was asleep. Didn't see it. Who's it?"
"Eli." and handed the receiver to me.
"Hello?"
"Hi, I've been waiting to hear from you the whole day. Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I was at the park with a friend. When I got home I fell asleep on the couch, sorry."
"It's okay. Do you want to go eat something?"
"Hmm..." I wasn't feeling like going out but my stomach was complaining for food. I thought about what Lilah had said and got up. "Yeah. Something big and tasty." I said cheering up, he laughed.
"You got yourself a deal. I'll pick you up in... thirty minutes?"
"Okay."
"Great. Uhm... Anne?"
"Yes?"
"I thought about you the whole day."
"Really?"
"Painfully real."
"Painfully?"
"Yeah." he laughed. "See you soon."
"So?" Lumi asked in the dark. My stomach shivered. She was going to ask again and I didn't really want to bring what had been on mind all day back up. "can I turn on the lights?"
"Please." I was relieved. "Eli's coming in thirty minutes to take me to dinner."
"Hmm! That's perfect. Go take a shower because your hair is pointing in weird directions. And put something sexy. High heels."
"I don't know. He didn't say where we're going." I said from my bedroom.
"I don't care!" Lumi shouted from the living room. "Get sexy."
***
Forty minutes later I had finally decided on see-through black blouse, black jeans and strappy sandals. Eli was in the living room talking to Lumi and I was doing my best to finish make up and dry my hair at the same time. Lumi knocked on the door two minutes later.
"He said that if you don't come out, he'll leave."
"He did not."
"I would. What are you doing?"
"Trying to obbey your orders."
"That is not working at all. I say black snug blouse with that silver skirt. And let your hair loose."
"It sounds like I'll look like a slut. But it works."
"Of course it works. So... you two are... like dating?"
"We haven't talked about it. And I don't think we will. I'm just letting things flow."
"You? Letting things... flow? Ha, I want to see that."
"What?"
"You always want to discuss things to death. Analyze and put everything straight. I know because I'm like that too. We like to know where we're stepping."
"I know. But this time... It's like... I don't know. I don't see myself marrying him or anything. It's weird, because that's not me at all. I never saw a point in getting involved just for the hell of it. Seemed waist of time."
"And what does that mean?"
"I guess it means... I still don't know him well enough to know."
"Hmm. And what about this afternoon? You're ok?"
"I am. Sorry. Okay," I said turning to her "how do I look?"
"He's going to want to skip dinner into dessert." she answered with a smile.
"We haven't talked about it. And I don't think we will. I'm just letting things flow."
"You? Letting things... flow? Ha, I want to see that."
"What?"
"You always want to discuss things to death. Analyze and put everything straight. I know because I'm like that too. We like to know where we're stepping."
"I know. But this time... It's like... I don't know. I don't see myself marrying him or anything. It's weird, because that's not me at all. I never saw a point in getting involved just for the hell of it. Seemed waist of time."
"And what does that mean?"
"I guess it means... I still don't know him well enough to know."
"Hmm. And what about this afternoon? You're ok?"
"I am. Sorry. Okay," I said turning to her "how do I look?"
"He's going to want to skip dinner into dessert." she answered with a smile.
"She'll be ready in the next decade, you don't have to worry." Lumi said when she came back to the living room. Eli was seated at the couch looking at one of my books. He looked up and smiled.
"It's okay. Tell her to take her time."
"Hmm... be careful or you'll sit there for a real decade." Lumi said laughing, but approved. "Can I get you anything to drink?"
"No, I'm good, thanks. Is she okay?"
"Why do you ask?"
"She seemed a little down."
"I think she's just tired."
"I'm not tired or down." I said when I entered the living room.
"You certainly are not." Eli answered getting up. I could see in his face that the time I'd taken had been well spent. "Hi." he said after a light kiss.
"Hi." Lumi was smiling from behind Eli. "Shall we? I'm starving."
"Good. So am I. Bye, Lumi."
"Don't wait up!" I said on my way to the door.
"Be safe, kids!" Lumi shouted from the couch, laughing when she heard me groan. The guy was toast, she thought. She wished she had a hot date that night too. What made her think of Victor, the stupid bastard. She turned off the TV and called Madeline. Damn her if she was going to stay at home by herself moping around.
***
"And then, when he realized that I had been watching him, he looked up and gave me a weak smile. There was paint everywhere."
"Oh my, he seems very... creative."
"Creative indeed. He took a pan in the kitchen and used it to mix colors. Painted my cushions, the carpet and the TV. Thank God he never came close to my books. I'd have wept."
We were having pasta in a little Italian restaurant in midtown. It was really nice. The lights were low and the candles on the tables did the rest. That's Amore was playing softly in the speakers and the place was filled with couples talking in low voices. Simple and romantic. Eli had ordered pasta with a fungi sauce and a red wine to go with it. It was delicious. The man understood wine, wasn't that something?
"You seem to love your nephew very much."
"I do." his smile warmed considerably. "When Ellen asked me to be his godfather I was really surprised. I had never been around kids since I was one. Our parents didn't have any siblings and the distant cousins we have, live across the country. But the kid is amazing. He can make me laugh even when he's driving me crazy."
"I have two nephews back home. The oldest I met when he was 13, the other I went to see him when he was born and then only six years later. It's been nearly 4 years since I last saw them. They're 22 and 7 today."
"Wow. You have a 22 year old nephew?"
"I do. My older brother, their father, is much older than I am."
"How much?"
"Thirty years."
"Th... wow. Then your father must be..."
"83 next January."
"Wow. That is amazing. Your mother..."
"She's nearly twenty years younger than him."
"My parents were born on the same year, same month, same day. They always thought that it was a sign of perfection."
"Is it?"
"I guess it is. They love each other very much. In their own way. They've been married for nearly fifty years."
"That really is amazing, isn't it? To love and to dedicate your life to be with someone for half a century." I said gesturing while holding my wineglass. He smiled. Why couldn't I see myself marrying him? Was it because it was too soon? He obviously liked children, he had a very good example of how a marriage could be at home. Did that mean I wasn't going to fall for him?
"Anne?"
"Oh, sorry. My mind wandered off. Do you want to have kids?" Where had that come from?
"I.. yes. One day. I don't want to raise kids in this city. I love it here, but I always feel like I don't have enough time, I don't know why. I don't want to have to fit a child's life into my schedule like that."
"That's sensible. I don't think I would want to either. Back home, there's a city I absolutely love. It's clean, organized, arborized, I don't know. I intend to move there when I go back home." Eli looked up suddenly and startled me. Going back home. I think we both forgot that I'd be leaving eventually.
"When are due back?"
"My first plan was to stay for four years. Finish my masters, do some research and travel as much as I could. But I think I'm only staying for half of it, which means I only have another year left."
"One year..." Eli lowered the hand holding the fork and was staring into his plate with a vacant expression. This was not how I had thought we'd be having this conversation. I took my glass and was about to drink when I choked. Coughing, I put the glass back on the table and signaled to him that I was going to the bathroom. I got up and was looking for the bathroom when I heard a familiar voice. I glanced to my side and saw Green eyes laughing with a redhead in the table near the window. He was getting up and coming in my direction. I thought about entering the bathroom before he spotted me but it was too late. My coughing got worse when he said hello, I couldn't answer.
"Are you okay?"
"Ye... gre-t. You?"
"Wondering if you've been following me around. At least your not pushing carts."
"V..ry f..ny."
"Go. We'll talk when we both come out." he said laughing and pushed the door to the men's bathroom. When I came out he was waiting for me.
"So, besides choking how have you been? Used to Americans already?"
"Ha-ha. I guess. It's been a year. I didn't think I'd be running into you again. How have you been?" We were talking as if we'd been old friends that hadn't seen each other in a while, when truth was we didn't even know each other's names.
"Good. That's my girlfriend over there."
"Tampon girl?"
"Tampon girl?" he asked tightening his brows, and then he remembered. "Yes. Tampon girl. You're scatterbrained girl. Come, I want to introduce you."
"O... Okay." he led me to his table where his girlfriend had been sitting. She was gorgeous, beautiful strawberry blonde hair, blue eyes and cream white skin. She didn't seem very happy though, almost as if fighting an internal war. Weird.
"Brie? Remember the supermarket crazy girl that I told you about?"
"Ah, yes. You do exist." she said with a smile. Seemed a little distant or maybe it was just my impression.
"Of course she does. This is Gabriella, also known as tampon girl."
"Tampon girl?" she said chilling her smile.
"Yeah, she was with me when you called asking me to buy some. She nicknamed you tampon girl. And this is... I don't think I know your name."
"It's okay. I don't know yours either. I'm Anne."
"What is my nickname?"
"Ah..." her cold stare seemed to hit me in the face. "Hehe, well my date's waiting for me. Nice to see you again, and nice too meet you. Bye." I waved and left. Eli had been watching me from his seat and raised his brows when I sat.
"Who was that? The redhead looked like she'd to have stepped her heels into your eyes."
"I had the same impression." I said laughing and told him the story. "He's... Ha, I didn't get his name again."
"Do you... want to know his name?"
"Ah, no, no. It's just... nevermind. Dessert?"
"I.. why don't we have some frozen yogurt? You said you loved it. It's light and there's a nice shop close to my apartment."
"Ah... okay." While he asked for the check I observed Green eyes. He had been so lighthearted when we'd been talking by the bathroom's door but now he seemed heavier. Gabrielle was looking out the window while he ate with a grim expression. Had they fought?
"Let's go?"
"Ah yes." Eli put a hand behind my back and guided me out the door. I glanced at Green eyes one more time and caught him staring at me. He gave me a wink and a weak smile and continued to eat. Eli caught me staring but didn't say anything.
I wanted to tell Lumi that I had seen Green eyes and when I reached to get my phone I realized I had left my purse in the restaurant. "Oh damn, I left my purse back in the restaurant. I'll be right back."
"Okay, I'll get a cab."
I rushed back was about to push the door when Green eyes was coming out. The redhead was nowhere to be seen.
"Oh, sorry." he said and then dissolved his grimace into a laugh. "Of course it's you. What did you forget?"
"My purse."
"Of course you did." he said and stepped aside. I went in, took it and when I turned he was waiting for me by the door. "Got everything? Coat, purse, shoes, tampons?"
"Your nickname was smart-assed apple guy. Now I remember why."
"Really? Cool."
"Are you waiting for Gabrielle?"
"No, she already left. It seems we just broke up."
"Oh, I'm sorry."
"Yeah, me too. Where's the short guy you were with?"
"He's just around the corner getting a cab."
"Oh. If he had left I'd invite you for a cup of coffee. Or maybe a beer. I think I need a beer."
"I'm really sorry."
"Yeah... I guess we had it coming. Things haven't been well lately. Ah, the short guy is coming to retrieve you, I think."
"Anne?" Eli said laying a hand on my shoulder. Green eyes and I got the statement clearly. For some reason, instead of comforting me, it made me uncomfortable.
"Eli, this is the guy I told you about. He's..."
"Ah.. yeah, sorry. I'm Noah."
"Eli Walker." Eli said with his serious professor-like voice.
"Nice to meet you. So, Anne. Until we run into each other again." he said with a smile. I smiled back. A thought had been badgering me and for some reason I thought that I had to get anything from him before I never saw him again. It wasn't that I was interested in him or anything. But I desperately wanted to talk more. Like.. be friends. But there was no way of doing this without being unconsiderate with Eli.
"The cab's waiting." he said and with a last shake of his head, went to the cab.
"I..."
"Tell me you're full name. I'll look you up and then we'll have that beer." he said with a smile. I told him and went to the cab.
"What was that all about?" Eli asked. Was he really jealous?
"Nothing. He was telling me his girlfriend had just broken up with him."
"Ah, poor guy."
"Yeah..." Eli held my hand as the cab turned and Noah disappeared.
"Oh my, he seems very... creative."
"Creative indeed. He took a pan in the kitchen and used it to mix colors. Painted my cushions, the carpet and the TV. Thank God he never came close to my books. I'd have wept."
We were having pasta in a little Italian restaurant in midtown. It was really nice. The lights were low and the candles on the tables did the rest. That's Amore was playing softly in the speakers and the place was filled with couples talking in low voices. Simple and romantic. Eli had ordered pasta with a fungi sauce and a red wine to go with it. It was delicious. The man understood wine, wasn't that something?
"You seem to love your nephew very much."
"I do." his smile warmed considerably. "When Ellen asked me to be his godfather I was really surprised. I had never been around kids since I was one. Our parents didn't have any siblings and the distant cousins we have, live across the country. But the kid is amazing. He can make me laugh even when he's driving me crazy."
"I have two nephews back home. The oldest I met when he was 13, the other I went to see him when he was born and then only six years later. It's been nearly 4 years since I last saw them. They're 22 and 7 today."
"Wow. You have a 22 year old nephew?"
"I do. My older brother, their father, is much older than I am."
"How much?"
"Thirty years."
"Th... wow. Then your father must be..."
"83 next January."
"Wow. That is amazing. Your mother..."
"She's nearly twenty years younger than him."
"My parents were born on the same year, same month, same day. They always thought that it was a sign of perfection."
"Is it?"
"I guess it is. They love each other very much. In their own way. They've been married for nearly fifty years."
"That really is amazing, isn't it? To love and to dedicate your life to be with someone for half a century." I said gesturing while holding my wineglass. He smiled. Why couldn't I see myself marrying him? Was it because it was too soon? He obviously liked children, he had a very good example of how a marriage could be at home. Did that mean I wasn't going to fall for him?
"Anne?"
"Oh, sorry. My mind wandered off. Do you want to have kids?" Where had that come from?
"I.. yes. One day. I don't want to raise kids in this city. I love it here, but I always feel like I don't have enough time, I don't know why. I don't want to have to fit a child's life into my schedule like that."
"That's sensible. I don't think I would want to either. Back home, there's a city I absolutely love. It's clean, organized, arborized, I don't know. I intend to move there when I go back home." Eli looked up suddenly and startled me. Going back home. I think we both forgot that I'd be leaving eventually.
"When are due back?"
"My first plan was to stay for four years. Finish my masters, do some research and travel as much as I could. But I think I'm only staying for half of it, which means I only have another year left."
"One year..." Eli lowered the hand holding the fork and was staring into his plate with a vacant expression. This was not how I had thought we'd be having this conversation. I took my glass and was about to drink when I choked. Coughing, I put the glass back on the table and signaled to him that I was going to the bathroom. I got up and was looking for the bathroom when I heard a familiar voice. I glanced to my side and saw Green eyes laughing with a redhead in the table near the window. He was getting up and coming in my direction. I thought about entering the bathroom before he spotted me but it was too late. My coughing got worse when he said hello, I couldn't answer.
"Are you okay?"
"Ye... gre-t. You?"
"Wondering if you've been following me around. At least your not pushing carts."
"V..ry f..ny."
"Go. We'll talk when we both come out." he said laughing and pushed the door to the men's bathroom. When I came out he was waiting for me.
"So, besides choking how have you been? Used to Americans already?"
"Ha-ha. I guess. It's been a year. I didn't think I'd be running into you again. How have you been?" We were talking as if we'd been old friends that hadn't seen each other in a while, when truth was we didn't even know each other's names.
"Good. That's my girlfriend over there."
"Tampon girl?"
"Tampon girl?" he asked tightening his brows, and then he remembered. "Yes. Tampon girl. You're scatterbrained girl. Come, I want to introduce you."
"O... Okay." he led me to his table where his girlfriend had been sitting. She was gorgeous, beautiful strawberry blonde hair, blue eyes and cream white skin. She didn't seem very happy though, almost as if fighting an internal war. Weird.
"Brie? Remember the supermarket crazy girl that I told you about?"
"Ah, yes. You do exist." she said with a smile. Seemed a little distant or maybe it was just my impression.
"Of course she does. This is Gabriella, also known as tampon girl."
"Tampon girl?" she said chilling her smile.
"Yeah, she was with me when you called asking me to buy some. She nicknamed you tampon girl. And this is... I don't think I know your name."
"It's okay. I don't know yours either. I'm Anne."
"What is my nickname?"
"Ah..." her cold stare seemed to hit me in the face. "Hehe, well my date's waiting for me. Nice to see you again, and nice too meet you. Bye." I waved and left. Eli had been watching me from his seat and raised his brows when I sat.
"Who was that? The redhead looked like she'd to have stepped her heels into your eyes."
"I had the same impression." I said laughing and told him the story. "He's... Ha, I didn't get his name again."
"Do you... want to know his name?"
"Ah, no, no. It's just... nevermind. Dessert?"
"I.. why don't we have some frozen yogurt? You said you loved it. It's light and there's a nice shop close to my apartment."
"Ah... okay." While he asked for the check I observed Green eyes. He had been so lighthearted when we'd been talking by the bathroom's door but now he seemed heavier. Gabrielle was looking out the window while he ate with a grim expression. Had they fought?
"Let's go?"
"Ah yes." Eli put a hand behind my back and guided me out the door. I glanced at Green eyes one more time and caught him staring at me. He gave me a wink and a weak smile and continued to eat. Eli caught me staring but didn't say anything.
I wanted to tell Lumi that I had seen Green eyes and when I reached to get my phone I realized I had left my purse in the restaurant. "Oh damn, I left my purse back in the restaurant. I'll be right back."
"Okay, I'll get a cab."
I rushed back was about to push the door when Green eyes was coming out. The redhead was nowhere to be seen.
"Oh, sorry." he said and then dissolved his grimace into a laugh. "Of course it's you. What did you forget?"
"My purse."
"Of course you did." he said and stepped aside. I went in, took it and when I turned he was waiting for me by the door. "Got everything? Coat, purse, shoes, tampons?"
"Your nickname was smart-assed apple guy. Now I remember why."
"Really? Cool."
"Are you waiting for Gabrielle?"
"No, she already left. It seems we just broke up."
"Oh, I'm sorry."
"Yeah, me too. Where's the short guy you were with?"
"He's just around the corner getting a cab."
"Oh. If he had left I'd invite you for a cup of coffee. Or maybe a beer. I think I need a beer."
"I'm really sorry."
"Yeah... I guess we had it coming. Things haven't been well lately. Ah, the short guy is coming to retrieve you, I think."
"Anne?" Eli said laying a hand on my shoulder. Green eyes and I got the statement clearly. For some reason, instead of comforting me, it made me uncomfortable.
"Eli, this is the guy I told you about. He's..."
"Ah.. yeah, sorry. I'm Noah."
"Eli Walker." Eli said with his serious professor-like voice.
"Nice to meet you. So, Anne. Until we run into each other again." he said with a smile. I smiled back. A thought had been badgering me and for some reason I thought that I had to get anything from him before I never saw him again. It wasn't that I was interested in him or anything. But I desperately wanted to talk more. Like.. be friends. But there was no way of doing this without being unconsiderate with Eli.
"The cab's waiting." he said and with a last shake of his head, went to the cab.
"I..."
"Tell me you're full name. I'll look you up and then we'll have that beer." he said with a smile. I told him and went to the cab.
"What was that all about?" Eli asked. Was he really jealous?
"Nothing. He was telling me his girlfriend had just broken up with him."
"Ah, poor guy."
"Yeah..." Eli held my hand as the cab turned and Noah disappeared.
